26 Weeks!

At midnight I hit 26 weeks in my pregnancy. Doesn't sound that impressive but every hour, let alone day, is a huge accomplishment. When I was admitted the doctors thought I only had hours left and that labor was imminent. Apparently, my body has had other plans and flash forward, here I am two weeks later.

I did her some good news this morning! Dr. Dykowski told me that there are no birth plans currently. It all depends on how the little lady is positioned when D-Day comes. If she's head down I can give birth vaginally but if she's in any other position I will have to have a C section. He did also remind me that premies sometimes have difficulty being delivered vaginally so I will have to keep in mind that an emergency C section is possible. Nonetheless, I am happy that I can prepare for either situation.

All in all, hospital life isn't that bad. I wouldn't say I'm too bored and luckily, Beaumont is a really good hospital. I have physical therapy and they even have a bed rest program here, which is birthing classes for women who are confined to their beds. Nick and I are pretty excited to participate in a class. It helps us feel more normal since we haven't been able to do the same things as other pregnant couples.

I can't help but feel guilty, though. I know it's nothing that I could have prevented but it's hard not to feel like it's my fault. As a woman, biologically, our sole purpose is to bear children. The fact that my body is unable to do that without medical intervention (bed rest, medication, cerclage, etc.) makes me feel like a failure as a woman. If this was 50 years ago, children wouldn't even be an option for me, so I guess I am lucky in a sense. I just have always wanted to have a lot of kids and now I'm forced to rethink my plans. I can't go through another pregnancy like this, especially with a toddler who will need me around to take care of her. It wouldn't be fair to her or Nick if I ended up on bed rest again. Just goes to show you that you can plan and prepare all you want, the universe will likely show you that it has something else in mind for your story.