27 Weeks!

Today is a HUGE day. I have been in the hospital for three weeks now and am officially 27 weeks into my pregnancy. According to my doctors I am considered a medical miracle because there is no reason to explain why I am still pregnant. I was 2.5 cm dilated, 90% effaced with my bag of waters bulging through my cervix at admittance and I am still pregnant. If my baby were born now she would not be considered a micro-preemie. That is a major accomplishment. Between now and 30 weeks is considered "very premature". It's still a battle but it is not as scary as it would be at 24 weeks when I was first admitted.

That's exactly how I feel, gearing up for battle. It's more or less become the theme of my pregnancy. Nick and I have a birthing class set up for this Sunday and the instructor told me I could take my time with setting up the class, as most women do here. Why? They tell me that any day could be D-Day. Why would I bother waiting? That would just set me up to be very scared with little preparation for delivery. There isn't any time to waste anymore. Unfortunately, the videos she's given us are only for 'term deliveries' because they don't make any instructional material for preterm deliveries. That's because no one wants to think or prepare that they might have to deliver earlier than 38 weeks. It doesn't exactly feel fair, especially since I don't have a choice in the matter. Regardless, we're doing the best we can with what we have. She also gave us a video tour of Beaumont's NICU and the lady that runs the NICU Parenting Program is going to speak with us soon.

So here we are. I'm just 22 years old and Nick will turn 25 years old in April, and we are faced with the reality that our baby will need an army to care for her. How can we be advocates for her while she is in the NICU? Well, first off, as soon as she is born I will be handed a breast pump. From then on out, I will pump exclusively and will drop off my breast milk to the NICU when she is ready to feed on real milk. I don't have a choice in the matter. The NICU doctor told me they don't bother giving formula to preemies. It's either I pump or we have donor milk brought in from a bank, which is second best because it's pasteurized. If that's the one thing that I can do for Olivia while she's in the NICU then I sure as hell will do it. I already know that when I deliver, as soon as they take her to the NICU, I want Nick to stay with her. I will be fine on my own. I just don't want her to be alone when she is being poked and prodded.

I realize now that this is my sacred duty and for whatever reason, God chose us. I'm not sure why but I know everything happens for a reason. So you either stand up and fight or you run. And guess what? I don't run.